I Like To Write, I Like To Use The Pen-Cil

HULLO ALL IN LALA LAND aka uh, CalIfornIa? It's been a while since I've posted anything here- I think? UMMMMMM What havent I said? So ya, I'm still at Green Earth (w00t?) and things are kinda hectic. Just head office is being a bitch and such and making things tense and difficult at work. GAH I hate Nazi's! Lets seee boys? Well ZATCH! (yes the "t" is suppose to be there -.-')asshole extrodinare... unfortunately I'm still in love with him to a certain degree. It's been really hard to get over him! He's been nicer to me but not really- It's complicated, but he's leaving in April to go see his mom is scotland, and he might get a working visa and stay there- that's gunna be hard on me, it really is. I get teary just thinking about not seeing him. It's probably for the best anyways. Then there is Chris... man, how do I always end up in love triangles? I like Zach, Chris likes me, I don't like Chris, and Chris and Zach pretend to be hot for each other -.-' stupid boys. And Chris is totally not my type, I have no attraction to him, but he's a nice guy and it makes me feel really bad. I need someone more my age though =(

Other then that? OH! I've been so stressed and angry that I cut all my hair off. Yup! It's really short now! It's hot tho and I love it, so what can I say? I'm working my way to happiness... I think :S OH and apparently there's something going on between me and my "best friend". she doesnt talk to me or anything anymore, and my friends keep asking whats going on and I would like to know myself. One friend said maybe she's fed up with me working all the time, but its like, I dont go to school and i have to work full time and i have 2 days off a week, same as her, except I'm in retail so it's much more difficult especially when I'm keyholder! Plus its not fair for her to be fed up with me when she's let me down soooooooo many times, and yet I always forgive her- maybe thats my problem. Doesnt matter tho cuz I dont even know if thats the issue. But i'm not gunna let it bug me too much cuz its very childish and I dont have the time to wonder if I did anything wrong just cuz I wanna try new things or maybe relax or something... grrrrr

Anyways, now that I'm steamed up, gotta work on stupid shit for tomorrow... Im really irritated now...

This song is definately my theme song. No matter how many times I listen to it, it totally applies to me. So now, my theme...

Night lift up the shades
let in the brilliant light of morning
but steady there now
for I am weak and starving for mercy
sleep has left me alone
to carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong
it's all I can do to hang on
to keep me from falling
into old familiar shoes

[Chorus:]

how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see

love has made me a fool
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you

[Chorus]

everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses I know

[Chorus]

If only, if only
Shut up girl, grab that phone
Wait don’t, don’t do it
Nothing will come from this but tragedy
So dramatic you are
Pathetic

He’s probably waiting
Thinking of me
No he’s not!
But he might be
Why would he, honestly?

What would I say to him?
What would you do for him?
I don’t want to think about it
But I have no choice
This longing is… who says that anymore?
Longing

He calls
Says he wants to see me
All the time
Can’t stop thinking about me
Wanted to hear my voice
Wants to see me smile
Yeah right!

If only…

I wrote this at 12:30 this morning. I don't know why...

She
With no conceptual feelings
With no extracurricular love
With no erratic behavior
She draws a blank

With no abnormities
With no insatiable visions
With no yearning for
She cradles

*sigh*

She
With no tendencies
With no elongated engagements
With no procedure on how
She stares at the manual

He
Finds her extraordinarily lovely
Finds her excruciatingly unable
Finds her bashful and timid
Shy

To say the least

He
Wants her
Sees her
Feels her

Loves her

She
Has calamity
From him

Woooo I am tired right out- Today I started my new job at Green Earth in Masonville. I got there at about 11, read for half an hour, and then went to the store. I had to fill out all those boring sheets and whatnot, and then myself and the other new girl had to read the policy and procedures manual and the product information binder.... 3 hours later we both finish. By this time it was 3 and I was already yawning up a storm. My boss then took us around the store and showed us everything and gave some useful information, and then the other manager (or assistant manager... I'm not exactly sure what he is) told us all about the body jewlery and such. I learnt quite a few things and still have more to learn. The last hour we were to go around and just become familiar with the store and such. It was awkward because I wanted to help the customers but I didnt want to say "Hi can I help you with anything?" when I basically knew nothing. I havent learned cash or anything yet, so hopefully that will happen tomorrow or sometime this week.
For the most part it was awkward, and it's going to take some getting use to. I had started thinking about how easy it was at Wiltons, but then again I knew exactly what I was doing there and such, so I just have to get comfortable there and get to know what I'm doing. I think I'll maybe be settled by next week... hopefully

And now I'm tired and want to nap, but I shouldnt LOL *yawn* maybe I'll go watch the randomness of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law ^.^ bye!

My day started waking up at my sisters house, and getting changed and ready to walk down to the train station. We we're taking the train to Toronto for 3 days to CN Anime and other exciting events ^.^ I'd never been on a train before, but oh how it was great! I really enjoy riding the train now. After a three hour train ride we arrived in Toronto, and walked to our hotel, the Sheraton. It was beautiful! And the room was great!

After settling in and such, we decided to head out. We went to a few stores, looked around and such, and then headed over to the convention center to CN Anime. We got there and once we had our passes had to wait in line to get into the dealers room. After getting in we looked around and founf out where everything was going to be. We bought some stuff. I got vol. 3-6 of DN Angel, vol. 4 of Full Metal Panic! Fumoffu, the Full Metal Alchemist Movie Soundtrack, the Legend of Zelda: OoT soundtrack and of course, my Edward Elric plushie ^.^ after that we stood in line to meet Vic Mignogna and Travis Willingham. Aaron Dismuke was late so I missed him >< When they showed up I got sooo excited. Vic (whom I am a member of his fanclub, the Risembool Rangers) was just around the corner from me- my heart was racing. I was standing with a group of Risembool Rangers so we started chanting, and Vic screamed "I LOVE YOU GUYS!" tee hee it was great!
When I finally got in front of him I was so excited- I wasn't nervous not one bit!
"HI!" I said loudly
"HI!" he said even louder. Then I screamed, and he screamed louder, and we had a screaming match ^.^ he he he! Then he gave me a big hug and we posed for a picture, and then I whipped out the drawing I did for him- he totally freaked out! He actually took a picture of me with the drawing, with his own camera. Then he was freaking out over the pic of Mustang I did for Travis. It was so cute! Vic signed it, and then Travis signed his and took a pic with me. Then that was it -.-'
We went back to the hotel to drop off our stuff, then we went to Jack Astors for dinner with Vic and the Rangers. Vic is so amazing, and my sister even agrees- she says he's amazing when it come to his fans, which is utterly true. He was there with his gorgeous "lady friend". Where did he find her? I want one LOL! He came over to our end of the table to say hi and such, and he handed out milky ways ^.^ he put mine on my nose tee hee!
If I could choose again to go to the dinner or not, I wouldnt go though. Vic was at the other end of the table, and I was tired and rather bored. It wasnt all that fun. I woulda rather been swimming. And getting out of there and paying was a bitch- I was so irritated >< We went back to the hotel and went swimming and then to bed.

Saturday:
Woke up early all hyper, and went for breakfast in the club lounge. Good food! Watched some tv and headed to the con again. Brian (bro-in-law) and I headed to watch the Full Metal Alchemist movie (DUBBED YAY!) and Shannon (sis) went to stand in line for an autograph for some cartoonist for a buddy of her's at work. She was not impressed with it at all. The movie was great! I loved it so much! After that we went to find Shan, and then I bought my Seb and her Ed plushies. Roy and Ed ^.^ They didn't get to go to the con, so I thought that would be nice. It was so packed there that we just wanted out, so we left, and went walking.
Right after that we went to the CN Tower. in 20 years I had never been up into the CN Tower, so that was the day... You know, not too impressed with it. One it was PACKED with tourists and then when I was looking out I wasn't too impressed. Ok I'm high up... that's it? And the glass floor was like, so small! I would never pay $26 to go up there again. Never. But at least I can say I went, eh?
After dropping stuff off at the room, we went to the Eatons Centre. You know, I don't care how big and popular that mall is... it sucks! They really have no good stores in there -.-' We had lunch and such and after a while of shopping, back to the room. Then it was off to... THE BLUE MAN GROUP!

It was pouring outside, and it was a 30 min walk from the hotel to the theater. Well worth it though. By the time we got there we were soaked, especially Brian. He bought a blue man tee and changed- hahaha he's so funny! Then we went in. We wore toilet paper on our head (actually it was just streamers, but still fun) and the show started.
well, at the beginning of the show they have this red sign saying stuff- so when they start the show they have audience participation. So it said "we have some special guests in the audience tonight... so in so has won the govener generals award, lets all congradulate them" so everyone reads out loud what the sign is saying. So then there was a happy birthday to someone, and we all ready happy birthday (no singing was allowed) to them, and then there were some more and we had to read things out (it was very random).
Then all the sudden it said "Robin Yeo has a headache. Lets all tell Robin how sorry we are about her headache" and then they everyone said sorry. Then it said "lets all help Robin with her headache, ready go 'close your eyes, imagine a field. now imagine ur headache as a cow grazing in the field. see the cow? KILL IT! Now chop it up and distribute it to various places in the greater toronto area", or something along those lines. You should've seen my face! I almost died! SUCH A SURPRISE! Shannon had e-mailed them about it, and she hadn't heard back so she wasn't sure if they were going to do it... but they did ^.^
THE SHOW WAS INCREDIBLE! IF YOU CAN, GO SEE THEM!!!!

After the show Shannon had to go buy one of the paintings they did on stage, and I got a blue man zip up sweater. Then we walked back to the hotel, and all hyped up, slept once more.

Sunday:
We didn't feel much like doing anything, so we decided not to return to the con. We walked around and stopped at some stores. I got vol. 5 of Princess Nine, and a t-shirt with Mark McKinney saying "I'm Crushing Your Head" OMG KITH ROOLS! After that we decided to get our train tickets changed and go home early. We checked out and headed for the train station.
On the train Shan and I played her travel Scrabble she had bought. I beat her! 215 to 188! I NEVER WIN AT THAT GAME! tee hee! Not long after we returned home, and here I am... tired... and not wanting to work the rest of this week.

All in all it was a great weekend and I had so much fun! Spent alot of money and got to meet a man who is amazing, and see a group of blue men who rawk my socks! It was great! And now, I want to... sleep...

w00t! Holy Crap things have been good. I'm lookin' and feelin' great! OH so what's been up? I've been watching the Colbert Report alot (I love Stephen Colbert ^.^) and a new show called Strangers with Candy- it's great! two of the teachers, Noblet and Jellyneck, are so cute... because they are secert gay lovers... something about that is just hawt! LOL
Less then a week till CN Anime- boy am I excited!

OH and I got a new job! YUS I DID! I no longer have to work at Pharma Plus, but now I will be working at Green Earth- I start in 2 weeks- uber exciting!

Today I'm taking the next door neighbours kid to Build a Bear- next month sometime I am going to go and make a Colbert Bear, because I think that would be cute and funny! weeeee! I'm so excited! Well now I must eat food before I go out- and I've got the bar tonite... never been to a bar! w00t!

Oh yeah, one last thing- Last Sunday I started this awesome story, and I'm so close to being done. I should have it finished by mid next week! How awesome is that!?!??!?!

Rain falls, quickly wetting my hair and clothes
My cries fall upon her deaf ears more tears
Let me in, please it's cold I'm freezing out here, I miss you my dear
You're all his and I'm all yours, like it or not, I'm all you've got

Everyone will make mistakes
Without the sour the sweet just ain't as

Sweet tangerine, will you please come back to me?
Cause I don't think that these feelings are gonna leave

Light cuts through the clouds and haunts me, like bad dreams
Outside lookin' in I'm feeling lost and cold as sin
A shred of hope a little bit of sweetness - anything please, except for defeat
If I could I'd lock you up and toss out the key, it's just you and me

Everyone will make mistakes (and I know I have)
Without the sour the sweet just ain't as

Sweet tangerine, will you please come back to me?
Cause I don't think that these feelings are gonna leave (yeah, yeah)
Sweet melody, you'll be singing in your sleep
But this time you're not listening to a word I say

Crept through the curtains, as quick as the cold wind
Slowly exploring the room where you sleep
The stare of your portrait, the passing of your scent
Left me no choice but to stay

I will dissolve into the dark beneath your bed
My hands will wait for a taste of your skin

Sweet tangerine, will you please come back to me?
Cause I don't think that these feelings are gonna leave (yeah, yeah)
Sweet melody, you'll be singing in your sleep
But this time you're not listening to a word I say
I word I say


Check out the Hush Sound!

Here is a song I wrote:

I am a Duck
But I don't know how to ... OH YOU DIRTY PEOPLE! You thought I was going to say a naughty word, didnt you? dirty dirty people!

LOL that was random!

I finally got my FMA bag I've been waiting for for 2 months now. Yeee I am happy about that. Still upset over work tho. I drew this tiny cartoon yesterday and today it was sitting there, and someone had written "Time to draw?" I got so mad, I took it and ripped it up so they can't accuse me of shit! Yes I have time to draw because it took me like 5 seconds to draw it! assholes- So I'm still pissed about work, and I dont want to go back but I have to, so I will just have teen angst towards them... except im not a teen... I shall have Llama angst towards them, and I shall listen to emu music (LOL jokes with Janet at work)!

I luckily have tomorrow off, but I'm getting together with a friend. It drives me insane cuz I don't like him, and I'm not attracted to him, but when we are together I just wanna jump him >< yicky! AND he has a girlfriend, so I wont do that! GAH!

I am so tired now, and my back hurts, so I will go away! LLAMA!

I hate how in my life when one thing happens it spawns a whole bunch of things. Today at work my boss told me that my work ethics were not good. It made me so angry, because she made it seem like I do nothing at work! I'm probably one of the people who pulls in the most money on cash, and thats because half the time I have to watch cash because the other employees ignore customers, so I keep running back to cash in order to serve them. Then when I do a task, I do it quickly, because that's just how I am, I do things quickly, so then it'd done.
The majority of the time there is actually nothing to do. I was told to always face the store and keep it tidy. Well, think about it this way- if I face and tidy the entire store, and then we are completely dead for 2 hours (which sometimes happens) then how am I suppose to keep busy, when NO ONE is around to mess it up? It's not like we're a freakin' walmart or something! I hate getting in trouble when things are out of my control, because then I feel like shit!

So then this gets me thinking about how bad I want an interview for a job I applied for. I'm desperate to get a full time job. And if I can't manage to get one, I feel that's it. I can't be stuck in this place for the rest of my life. MY LIFE IS A JOKE! Like what's the point eh? I'm not happy, and there is no way to achieve happiness for me. I feel so hopeless. Without a full time job I can't pay for college, I can't move out on my own, and if I go to college I can't afford to live on my own, so it looks like I'll be living at home till I'm about 23, and I don't like that, and my parents wont either.

I just want a life, but I don't have time for one, or money for one. Why does work have to be life? I don't want to live to work (unless it's something I enjoy), but I have to work to live. I wake up, shower, get dressed, go to work, come home, sometimes eat, go to bed, and do the whole bloody thing again. And it doesnt seem like it will ever end. And another thing that annoys me is if I were to leave, no one would notice. I'm just sorta there. So what's the point? Really, what is the fuckin' point?

I find it quite funny how I come up with ideas for stories. It's always spawned by something or someone. I've been working on this story which is actually quite blasphemist, but it provesa a point. It's a story asking "What is God were to choose someone to bare his child again? Who would have enough faith to believe?" It's a good question. I mean, think about "crazy" people who claim they are Jesus... what if one of them were? But given our society today, even though religion is a major factor, I don't think the people involved in the religion would have enough faith to believe that some man ranting and raving about God on the busy streets of New York could actually be the son of God... think about it!

As for my latest creation, I was watching the movie "Secondhand Lions" today, which stars Robter Duvall, Michael Cain (omg luff him!) and Haley Joel Osment... now seeing him growing up from that cute little boy in Bogus and Forrest Gump, got me thinking. Sex. I'm so lame. Seriously, that's what I thought about. This kid will forever be known as a child actor. An exceptionally amazing one at that, if you don't mind me saying, yet still a child actor. He's a very smart kid (actually he's an adult now), and I would personally like to see him in a more grown up role, yet something still close to his age. Which gave me an idea.

A story about a group of teenagers (probably 16 or 17) having to take a sex ed class. That would provide comic situations right there. Sex is funny hahahaha! In the story we would see them learning about sex, and my theory is, when you teach teenagers with ragging hormones about sex, they WILL get interested. So along with them learning, they are making decisions and experiementing... I'm not gunna go into great detail, seeing as I only have a few ideas for situations in my head already (including the ending... I always end up with the ending first)... so you will just have to wait and see. ^.^

Totally bored, nothing to do- But my sis and I came up with a brilliant plan today. I am going to apply at the new hooters opening out near wonderland road. Have you ever seen Hooter's Girls??? Theya re about a D cup... I myself, am a B cup... barely! So they definately wouldnt hire me... soooo I can sue them for discrimination because well, breast size. So there is some money I can make off them. Then say they offer me a job is I agree to get implants, BOOM another lawsuit for sexual harrasment! w00t! (we're totally not serious) That's what happens when you're sooper bored.

That's about it for now ^.^

Kurz: "my ass? Sounds like sexual harrasment!"

I was at work today when my sister called and asked if she wanted me to bring my b-day gift today or wait till Sunday (my actual birthday), so I said bring it on into the store! So she comes him with her husband, my bro-in-law! And they have an envelope... hmmmm... I open it and you know what it is????

TRAIN TICKETS TO TORONTO
HOTEL RESERVATIONS FOR 3 DAYS AT THE SHERIDAN
PASSES TO CN ANIME

ALL FOR SEPTEMBER 1-3RD OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!! I was jumping up and down! The hotel rooms are sweeeeeet (very expensive) and OMG do you know what this means???? I'M GOING TO MEET VIC MIGNOGNA! I AM GOING TO MEET HIM HANDS DOWN OMG!

I was bouncing around the store to the point where I couldnt breath- It was great! My sister and bro-in-law are the best- She said I would probably cry, and even though I didnt, I will, I know I will because I'm going to meet Vic! w00t! I still can't really breath I'm so excited! And it's still a month and some away! They are soooo good to me! I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!

Today I discovered that if I were to fill out an accident report at work everytime I got hurt, there would be a HUGE stack of papers- I'm just accident proned.

Yesterday I was working with my coworker Katie, and like most Sunday's, it was completely dead and we had nothing to do. So Katie was sitting down on the stool we have behind cash, and I was bored so I decided to sit on the counter, with my feet up on the shelf behind. I was answering some phones and taking some orders, so I decided to jump down and go do some of them. As I jumped down, there was a giagantic RIP! My face went 0.0 and Katie started laughing. The metal pegs which hold up our small bags ripped into my pants, creating a GIANT hole in the ASS! Luckily I had my sweater so I wrapped that around my waist to cover it. Later, my ass was aching, so I ran down to the bathroom to check it out to discover blood- hahaha! It wasn't until I got home that I found out there was a huge gash in my ass from it o.o Oh man I'm such an idiot! It was funny though- Kinda like the time I rode my bike into the wall, or when Seb's dog took me for a walk- Good Times!

It now hurts to sit and sometimes bend over when the skin stretches, BUT as long as it makes me and other laugh TOTALLY WORTH IT!

Ouchie is right! My tooth is killing me! Since my root canal it's been very sensetive, especially just now when I took a drink of my nice cold water... mmmmmm! AND I'M POPPIN' T3's! Ok ok, I'm not really a druggie, but they don't put me to sleep!

Yesterday Victoria and I went to Sunfest where I got an awesome hena tattoo and a ring (I went back today before work and got another ring) and then we went out to Masonville- It was fun! Then we went back to her place where she lent me some of her Sailor Moon! It's all in Japanese, so I didn't watch them all because I wanted to draw. So I put in some Princess Nine and two hours later came a very pretty picture of Ryo Hayakawa! OH HOW I LOVE THAT SHOW!

http://elwood-xx.deviantart.com/

That's a link to my Deviant Art profile where my drawing is and a pic of my cool hena tattoo! The guy who did it was awesome!
So it's friday night and what am I going to do? Well I think I'll lounge on my bed, work on my story "Faith" a bit more, and maybe finish up that Kurz Weber pic I started at work today- In Japanese I'm going to write Pervert on it, cuz Kurs is a pervert ^___^ CHEERIO! (yummy!)

My back is killing me soooo much right now! I get into work today, and as I'm about to start my co-worker goes flying out the door... Uh, I guess I'm working alone tonite? Ya, but that was ok! I got some things done, and it was semi busy. I tried working on a picture of Takasugi, but it didn't turn out how I wanted, so I chucked it. I need to go through my Princess Nine DVD's and find a good screenshot of Takasugi to draw!

Well the countdown begins! Two weeks till my birthday! YAY! Its gunna be great! Friday we're all getting together at Jax house for a campfire, Saturday I'm going to Toronto with Dani to see Panic! at the Disco (hawt) and shopping... GIANT COMIC BOOK STORE HERE I COME! WEEEE! Must save money. Then Sunday (which is my actual b-day) I'm lazing around, maybe watching some Anime if I get any, or reading mangas, if I get any- hahaha!

Other then that I have nothing really to report! Check out my art!

http://elwood-xx.deviantart.com

My finished Alphonse pic is there ^___^ weeee!

Later Peeps!

November 30th 2005 was a day I'll never forget... and 3 or more hours of it I'll never remember! HAHAHA~

It started early in September when I went to my doctor, because I was sick and tired of people asking me if I we're pregnant... You usually have to be with a guy to get that way. By mid November we (as in myself and my family) found out that I had benign ovarian cysts. There were 3 all together, the one roughly being the size of a football! So what comes next you ask? Surgery...

I had my surgery on November 30th, and I wasn't scared one bit. Everyone thought I was too calm for someone who was about to be sliced open, possibly loose one or two of her ovaries, ending with the possibility of no babies in the future... Meh, I actually only thought about become an adult and finally being skinny! LMAO!

All went well, I kept both my ovaries (baby making time! just kidding!), and I lost a ton of weight. It was nice to know that for all my effort in the past, it was something I couldn't have dealt with by meself (unless of course I went to medical school and did the operation myself- nah, I'd rather sit at home and watch CSI). And at the age of 19, my confidence and future looked very bright.

Thanks to everyone who stuck by me, because... Robin is still here! =^.^=